Day 96: On Silence
第96天：关于保持沉默
Silence is the absolute poise or balance of body, mind, and spirit. The man who preserves his selfhood ever calm and unshaken by the storms of existence — not a leaf, as it were, astir on the tree; not a ripple upon the surface of shining pool — his, in the mind of the unlettered sage, is the ideal attitude and conduct of life. (…) If you ask [him]: “What are the fruits of silence?” he will say: “They are self-control, true courage or endurance, patience, dignity, and reverence. Silence is the cornerstone of character.”
沉默是身体、思想和精神的绝对平衡。
一个人能保持自我，永远平静，不受生活风暴的影响——仿佛树上的一片树叶也不动；波光粼粼的水面上没有一丝涟漪——在智者的心目中，这就是理想的生活态度和行为。
如果你问[他]：“沉默的果实是什么?”
他会说：“它们是自制、真正的勇气、耐力、耐心、尊严和敬畏。”
沉默是性格的基石。
—Charles Alexander Eastman
In today’s noisy world, silence is uncomfortable. Most of us rarely, if ever, experience true silence. We listen to podcasts when exercising, listen to music when commuting, and interrupt work with a chat or two with colleagues.
在当今这个喧闹的世界里，安静让人感到不舒服。
我们中的大多数人很少能体验到真正的安静。
我们在运动时听播客，在通勤时听音乐，在工作之余会和同事聊聊天。
Silence is uncomfortable, because it means there are no outside distractions: it’s just you and your thoughts. Silence in a conversation is even more uncomfortable because there’s an unspoken rule that when people have nothing to talk about, they should come up with any topic just to avoid an awkward silence that might require them to become fully present and aware of how they really feel.
沉默让人不舒服，因为这意味着没有外界的干扰：只有你和自己的想法。
谈话中的沉默更让人不舒服，因为有一个潜规则，当人们无话可说时，他们应该想出任何话题，以避免尴尬的沉默，因为这可能需要他们完全呈现并意识到自己的真实感受。
Since silence can bring so much discomfort, it can be a potent tool to improve your self-control.
由于沉默会带来很多不适，它可以成为提高你自制力的有力工具。
First, sitting in silence and listening to your inner thoughts without any external distractions can help you slow down and analyze your recent decisions or assess how well you’re doing with your new goals. Try to spend at least five minutes a week in silence and you’ll be surprised how much valuable feedback you can retrieve from within you.
首先，安静地坐着，在没有任何外部干扰的情况下倾听自己内心的想法，可以帮助你放慢脚步，分析你最近的决定，或者评估你在实现新目标方面做得如何。
试着每周至少花五分钟保持沉默，你会惊讶于你能从内心获得如此多有价值的反馈。
As a second strategy, embrace silence in a conversation. No, I don’t mean that you should make the conversation weird by deliberately not saying anything. I refer to using silence as an exercise in improving your self-control when dealing with other people.
第二个策略是在谈话中保持沉默。
不，我不是说你应该故意不说话，让谈话变得怪异。
我指的是在与他人交往时，将沉默作为一种提高自我控制能力的练习。
For example, try the following challenge for one day: when talking with somebody who has a different opinion than you do, resist the temptation to immediately attack them and instead listen silently until they have fully presented their arguments. You will have positioned yourself for a more intelligent participation in the conversation, simply because you took the time to listen carefully to what the other person said.
例如，某一天可以尝试以下挑战：当和一个与你意见不同的人交谈时，抵制立即攻击他们的诱惑，而是静静地倾听，直到他们完全陈述了自己的论点。
这样，你就能更明智地参与谈话，因为你花了时间仔细聆听对方的发言。
Another exercise is to practice self-control by using fewer words. For one day, focus on listening to the other person. Ask as many questions as you can to maintain an interesting conversation and resist the urge to comment or share too many of your opinions.
另一种练习是通过少说话来练习自我控制。
在一天时间里，集中精力倾听对方。
尽可能多地提问，以保持对话的趣味性，克制发表评论或分享过多自己观点的冲动。
Both of these exercises will train you to be more focused on the other person and less impulsive during a conversation.
这两种练习都能训练你在谈话时更加专注于对方，减少冲动。
