120 The One With the Evil Orthodontist
120 风流牙医
[Scene:Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.]
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
我真不敢相信你会这么说,我是花生先生而非盐先生?
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all Right, he's got to be, like, the toughest snack小吃 there is.
才怪，盐先生是个水手，他应该是最顽强的点心
Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're crazy.
我不知道，你不会想和玉米作对的，它们简直是疯了
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep爬行/变态 out there with a telescope!
上帝呀，你们快来看，有个变态拿着望远镜
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
我真不敢相信他在看我们
Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.
真呕心
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
我感觉被冒犯了，而且很不爽
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust厌恶地.) Oh,you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
怎会有人这样? 你们看，丑陋裸男有双重力鞋
[Scene:Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, school children will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
告诉你们，几年后学童将会把它奉为第一次约会的经典加以研读，它太令人无法置信，我们可以完全作自己，无须再玩任何游戏
Monica: So have you called her yet?
你打过电话给她没?
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
让她知道我喜欢她?，你疯了不成，真的，才第二天你要我显得多渴望? 对吧?
Joey andRoss: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle垂/悬/吊着.
对,让她慢慢等吧
Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
我无法相信我爸妈强迫我找你们这种男人
Phoebe: Oh, God,just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney睾酮/睾丸素!
快，拿起电话打给她，别摆出一付臭男人的样子
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
对了，旧金山真有这道菜，我弄到了她的机器
Joey: Her answer machine?
她的答录机?
Chandler: No,interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.
不，真有意思，是她的落叶机清扫机
Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?
你为何不说话?
Chandler: Oh,no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous自发 message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
不行，上次我留话时，结果说了”对，的确”
Monica: Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!
看，是瑞秋和巴瑞,不，别一起看
Ross: Okay, okay,what's going on?
怎么了?
Phoebe: Okay,they're just talking...
他们只是在讲话
Ross: Yeah, well,does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove推/猛推 anything?
是吗?他是否神情落寞? 他是否像被告知去死的样子?
Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!
没有，而且他正在微笑，我的老天,不要那样干?
Ross: What? What?What?!
怎么啦?
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
对街的男人踢了一只鸽子
Chandler: (bluffing吓唬人) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
这就是法案成为法律的原因
All: Oh!...Right!
哦，对
Chandler: Hey Rach!
瑞秋
Monica: How'd it go?
情况如何?
Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts注射/喷出 out...
好极了，他带我到俄国茶室吃饭，我点了那种鸡肉，一刺就有奶油啧出来的那种
Phoebe: Not a good day for birds...
今天真不是鸟儿的好日子
Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...
然后我们去精品店，我告诉他不要他还是买了香奈儿给我
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
真体贴，是在你跟他说之前还是之后送的，你叫他别再打电话来，别再送你花，别再来烦你?
Rachel: Right,..well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
老实说我没机会开口，能再见到他的感觉真好，感觉是那么自在而熟悉，感觉真好
Ross: That's,that's nice twice!
你已讲了两遍
Monica: Rachel,what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
瑞秋，你是怎么了? 他不是在圣坛前被你甩掉的巴瑞吗?
Joey: Duh,where've you been?
唉（嗯），你上哪儿去了?
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
今天和他在一起感觉不同，他今天不像是牙医，我们玩得很开心，这样有什么不对吗?
(Ross' prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Chandler: Yes!
当然!
Rachel: Why?
为什么?
Chandler: I have my reasons.
我有我的理由
Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
他订婚的对象是你前任的知己呢?
Rachel: All right.All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
好吧好吧好吧，我知道这样做很傻，我下午去找他谈分手
[Scene:Barry's Office, the post-coital 云雨后Barry and Rachel are recovering on the chair.]
Rachel: Wow... Wow!
喔
Barry: Yeah.
是的
Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
我不疯狂吧?我从未像这样
Barry: No, it wasn't.
从未
Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...
这儿有个小水槽真好
[Scene:Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
Chandler: (on phone,reading from a script剧本) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles拨浪鼓/咔嗒声 some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
丹妮尔，没想到是答录机接的，有空请回电，再见
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
你这两小时都在忙这个?
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing珩磨!
我在演练
Ross: What was with the dishes?
和盘子有何关系?
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
我要她以为我在餐厅，我过着不错的生活，不是只在这儿演练数小时的样子
Monica: (looking out the window) Look look! He's doIng it again, the guy with the telescope!
看，又是那个拿望远镜的人
Phoebe: Oh my God!(Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing作手势.) Stop looking in here!
拜托，走开，别再往这儿看
Monica: Great, now he's waving back.
这下可好，他也挥手了
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
我们得想办法阻止他，早上我逮到他往这儿看，真是令我毛骨惊然，我感觉自己无法办事
Monica: What kinda stuff?
什么样的事情呀?
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
成熟点行吗？我不是指性。我只是光着屁股做饭
Phoebe: You cook naked?
你光着屁股做饭?
Joey: Yeah, toast,oatmeal燕麦片... nothing that spatters飞溅.
对，吐司，燕麦，不会溅出来的东西
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
看我干嘛?我毫不知情
[Scene:Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting married.]
Barry: What's the matter?
怎么了?
Rachel: Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.
巴瑞,这样不好
Barry: No, it was.It was very very good.
不,不，是非常非常好
Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?
明蒂呢?
Barry: Oh, way, way better than Mindy.
我们干得比明蒂好多了.
Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?
不，我是指你和明蒂
Barry: Well, if you want, I'll just—I'll just break it off with her.
如果你愿意我就和她分手
Rachel: No.No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.
万万不行，别那样做，别为我那样做
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.
法大夫,巴比来做调整
Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.
谢谢，我们周末去渡假
Rachel: Oh, Barry..!Come on, this is all way too..
巴瑞,这样太…
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
不,或许我们可以去阿鲁吧，我在”蜜月”时去过了，感觉很棒，你一定会喜欢的
(Pause as Rachel realises...)
Rachel: I had a bra.
我本来有穿胸罩
(Barry finds it draped褶 on a cupboard橱柜 and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
Bobby: Hey, Dr.Farber.
法大夫
(Rachel and Barry quickly split and pretend Barry is examining Rachel's mouth.)
Barry: All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.
格林小姐,看来一切正常，进步许多
(Bobby looks on, deadpan面无表情.)
Rachel: What?!
干嘛?
Bobby: I'm twelve,I'm not stupid.
我十二岁了,我不笨
(Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene:Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching抓着/操弄/发呆 his phone.]
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
能借用你的电话吗?
Monica: Yeah.. uh,but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
可以,不过...我指点你一下，你拿的那支也是电话
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
这电话没问题啊，她为何不回电?
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
或许她没听到你的留言
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
如果愿意你可以打给她的留言机，如果听见许多哔声，那代表她或许没听见留言
Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...
难道你不认为这样会使我感觉有点…
Ross:...desperate, needy, pathetic?
绝望，渴望，可悲?
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
你显然看过我的征友启事
(He calls and quickly hangs up.)
Phoebe: How many beeps?
哔几声?
Chandler: She answered.
她接的
Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.
此时你该向她打招呼才对
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me.Now I'm needy and snubbed冷落. God, I miss just being needy.
我不能跟她讲话,她显然听到我的留言而且选择不回电,我既渴望又被人冷落,我真想念纯渴望的滋味
(Rachel enters.)
All: Hey! Hi!
嘿,
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
他表现如何?
Rachel: Pretty well,actually... (Wandering into走进 the kitchen.)
还不错
Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss细毛 /牙线in your hair?
瑞秋,你头发上为何有牙线?
Rachel: Oh, do I?
有吗?
Monica: Uh huh.
是啊
Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.
我们在他椅子上做爱
Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
你们在他椅子上做爱? 我是否说得太大声?
Ross: You-you had what?
你们什么?
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
在他椅子上做爱
Ross: What, uh...what were you thinking?
你到底在想什么?
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
我也不知道，我们仍在乎对方，我们曾相爱过，就像你和卡萝一样
Ross: No! No no,it is nothing like me and Carol!
不，不像我和卡萝
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
拜托，如果她说：罗斯我要你躺在这沙发上，此时此地，你会怎么回答?
(Ross flounders比目鱼/辗转.)
Chandler: If it helps,I could slide over.
如果需要我可以过去点
Ross: It's, it's,it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's,it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.
这完全是两回事，这是苹果和橘子，牙医和女同志，我走了
Phoebe: Where are you going?
你要上哪儿去?
Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?
我就是要走，行吗? 需要理由吗? 我有自己的人生要过，我有许多事要做，我已经被某事给耽误了
(Ross exits,a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Chandler: Hello?Hello?
嗨 嗨
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate阐述 visual gag堵嘴/讨论结果 is spun旋转/疲劳 out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Rachel: (on phone)Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard,congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens)Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great...(Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay..(Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
明蒂，你好，对，我听说了，恭喜，这真是太好了，我明天要上班，如果愿意可以到店里，太好了，明天见了，天呀 天呀 天呀
Chandler: So how's Mindy?
明蒂好吗?
Rachel: Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry...(Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!
她明天想见我，她的语调好诡异，我得打电话给巴瑞，是我，明蒂，不，我想你可能会在那儿
[Scene:Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Monica: Brrrrrrr!
(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
你这种人都该下地狱
Joey: (entering)He's back! The peeper's偷窥者 back!
偷窥狂又出现了，
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Joey: (ducking躲避/回避)Get down!
蹲下
Rachel: Get down?
蹲下?
Chandler: ...And boogie!
接着跳舞.
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
谢谢,我得去上班,接受明蒂的审判
Monica: Relax.Y'know, she may not even know.
放轻松，或许她还不知道
Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together...she taught me how to kiss..
拜托，我们七个月来没连络过,她突然打电话来还会有什么事呢? 她曾是我最要好的朋友,我们一起去夏令营,她教我如何亲吻
Joey: (intrigued好奇/诡计/搞阴谋)Yeah?
是吗?
Rachel: And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..
如今我像是成第三者，我感觉自己很…
Joey: ..Naughty顽皮!
不守规矩？
Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...
回头见了
Joey: Oh, hold up,I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
等等，我和你一起出去，她在夏令营时教你亲吻，你穿着制服,或着...没事了..
(Joey exits.)
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
我要上洗手间，帮我守着电话好吗?
Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?
你何不带进去?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
我们还没第二次约会，她需要听到我尿尿的声音吗?
Monica: Why don't you just call her?
何不干脆打给她?
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride志豪/虚荣.
我已留言，不能打给她，我有男性的尊严
Monica: Do you?
你有吗?
Chandler: No! (Calls)Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens)Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig（蹦跳舞.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
没有.丹妮尔，我是钱德，我很好，我不知道你是否打过电话给我，因为我这个白痴不小心把电话关了，好，太好了，她正在讲电话，等一下会回我电话，她正在讲电话，等一下会回我电话…
Monica: Don't you have to pee?
你不想尿了?
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
这就是我跳舞的原因
