Hadar老师- 英语对话时，卡住了怎么办 Afraid of getting stuck

Are you afraid of getting stuck in English?

你害怕在英语中卡住吗？

Would you like to learn some strategies and tips on how to overcome situations where you get stuck or feel frustrated because you can't express yourself?

您是否愿意学习一些应对在表达时卡住或感到沮丧的策略和技巧？

If the answer is yes, then this video is for you.

如果答案是肯定的，那么这个视频是为你准备的。

Hi, my name is Hadar.

嗨，我是 Hadar。

I'm a non-native speaker of English, and I am here to help you speak English with clarity, confidence, and freedom.

我的母语不是英语，我在这里帮助你清晰、自信和自由地说英语。

The idea for this video came about after I went live on Instagram and I asked my followers, what was their biggest fear when it comes to communicating in English.

制作这个视频的灵感来源于我在 Instagram 上直播时问我的粉丝，在英语交流时，他们最大的恐惧是什么。

And 80 percent of the people responded 'getting stuck when speaking'.

80% 的人回答“说话时卡住了”。

For some people, they actually use the words 'getting stuck', others just said 'not finding the right words'.

对一些人来说，他们实际上使用了“getting stuck”这个词，其他人只是说“not finding the right words”。

And ultimately that fear of not being able to say what you want to say, and that crippling feeling of silence that triggers a lot of people and makes them feel so afraid to communicate.

最终，这种无法表达自己想法的恐惧以及沉默的抑制感，触发了许多人，使他们害怕交流。

So, in this video, I'm going to talk about why this is so scary, so we can understand the way we think and maybe overcome this fear, not by improving our English, but simply by improving the way we think about it.

因此，在这个视频中，我将讨论为什么这是如此可怕，这样我们就能理解我们的思考方式，也许能够战胜这种恐惧，不是通过提高我们的英语水平，而是通过改善我们对它的思考方式。

But then I'm going to give you some strategies on how to come out of a situation where you get stuck: what words to use, what phrases to say, and some strategies on how to start over so you can actually say what you want to say confidently.

然后我会给你一些策略，告诉你如何摆脱陷入困境的情况：要使用什么词语，说什么短语，以及一些重新开始的策略，这样你就能自信地表达自己想要说的话。

Now, I know that when you want to say something and your brain goes blank, it is really scary.

我知道当你想说些什么而大脑一片空白时，确实很可怕。

I remember once when I was in acting school, I had a show and I was singing in front of everyone.

我记得有一次我在表演学校，我有一个节目，要在大家面前唱歌。

And this was a song from a musical that I absolutely loved.

这是我非常喜欢的音乐剧中的一首歌。

And I practiced it a lot, and of course I knew all the words by heart.

我经常练习，甚至背下了所有的单词。

But then when I stood in front of everyone, I sang the first verse and then I got to the verse that I loved the most, like it was so profound to me, and I forgot all the words.

但当我站在所有人面前时，我唱了第一节，然后到了我最喜欢的那一节，就像对我来说如此深刻，结果我忘记了所有的歌词。

And the music kept playing.

音乐一直在播放。

And my teacher, who was accompanying me, and she was playing the piano, she started singing for me, but I was already so stressed out that it didn't help.

我的老师，陪我一起弹钢琴，她开始为我唱歌，但是我已经压力很大了，这也于事无补。

I don't even remember how I came out of this entire situation, I just remember staring at people, singing a few more words, and then leaving the stage without looking at anyone.

我甚至不记得我是如何从这整个局面中走出来的，我只记得盯着人们，又唱了几句，然后不看任何人就离开了舞台。。

And I was so upset.

我很沮丧。

And that's not the only time it actually happened to me.

这不是我唯一一次遇到这种情况。

And it also happened to me in lives and in conversations.

这也发生在我的生活和谈话中。

So I know how it feels.

所以我知道这是什么感觉。

But, I also want you to know that it's a natural part of speaking a second language.

但是，我也想让你知道说第二语言是很自然的。

It's a natural part of speaking any language, your first language as well.

这是说任何语言的一个自然部分，你的母语也是如此。

You might black out at any given moment if you lose your train of thought, or if you're overwhelmed, or if you're not focused, especially when it's not your first language.

如果你走神，感到不知所措，或者注意力不集中，特别是当这不是你的第一语言时，你可能会在任何时刻失去思路。

So don't feel bad when it happens.

所以当它发生时，不要感到难过。

Understand that it's a natural part of the language, and the more you practice, the more you speak, the less it will happen.

要明白这是语言中自然的一部分，你练习得越多，你说得越多，它发生的就越少。

But let's talk about why it triggers you so much, why it is so frightening.

但让我们来谈谈为什么它会如此触动你，为什么它如此可怕。

First, because it's really frustrating to want to say something and not being able to say it, right?

首先，因为想说点什么却说不出来真的很令人沮丧，对吧？

It's like, we are creatures who like to communicate, and if we want to say something and we can't, we feel limited, we feel like we don't have the tools that we have in our first language, and it's really, really frustrating.

我们是喜欢交流的生物，如果我们想说什么却说不出来，我们会感到受限制，感觉好像在第一语言中拥有的工具不复存在，这真的非常令人沮丧。

And sometimes it can create anger and sadness even.

有时它甚至会引起愤怒和悲伤。

So, wanting to say something and not having the tools to say it could be really, really frustrating.

因此，想要表达某事却没有工具去表达可能真的非常令人沮丧。

So that's the first thing.

这是第一点。

The second thing is that sometimes if we get stuck, we start thinking about what people think about us, right?

第二件事是，有时候如果我们陷入困境，我们会开始思考人们对我们的看法，对吗？

What is their opinion about us and our English?

他们对我们和我们的英语有什么看法？

And we get into the loop of not feeling good enough: "Oh, they're thinking that I don't know English.

我们陷入感觉不够好的循环：“噢，他们认为我不懂英语。

They're thinking that I can't communicate." And that creates more stress and anxiety because it really focuses on this fear that most of us experience of not being good enough, right, or being judged.

他们认为我无法交流。"这会导致更多的压力和焦虑，因为我们大多数人都经历过这种恐惧，害怕被评判。

And we don't want to experience that because that triggers shame and humiliation, which are two emotions that us humans try to avoid as much as humanly possible.

我们不想经历这些，因为这会引发羞耻和羞辱，这是我们人类尽可能避免的两种情绪。

We don't want to experience that.

我们不想经历那些。

Therefore, we don't want to get stuck because we know that it might trigger these feelings.

因此，我们不想陷入困境，因为我们知道这可能会引发这些感觉。

Even though again, it is perfectly okay to get stuck.

即便如此，说话“卡住了”也是完全可以的。

And usually, people won't even think bad things about you because you get stuck, they might not even notice it.

通常，人们甚至不会因为你卡住而对你产生不好的想法，他们甚至可能都没注意到。

Now, the third fear, and this is not a common fear, and I want you to think about it and to see maybe it actually hits home, is we don't wanna waste people's time.

第三个恐惧，这不是一种常见的恐惧，我希望你思考一下，看看它是否实际上触动了你的内心，那就是我们不想浪费别人的时间。

Especially when we speak to people whom we need something from, if we get stuck, we feel like we're wasting their time.

尤其是当我们和我们需要帮助的人交谈时，如果我们陷入困境，我们会觉得我们在浪费他们的时间。

We say to ourselves things like, "Oh, they're going to get impatient.

我们对自己说，“他们会不耐烦的。

They're not going to want to talk to me.

他们不会想和我说话的。

You know, it's not fair for them that they need to wait for me." And I understand that it's coming from a place of wanting the other person to feel good, but it's not helping you, right?

你知道，让他们等我对他们不公平。”我理解你这么说的出发点是想让对方感觉良好，但这对你没有帮助，对吧？

So feeling like you're wasting someone's time can immediately impact how you perform in English, and that fear could create a bigger fear around getting stuck.

因此，感觉自己在浪费别人的时间可能会立即影响你在英语中的表现，而这种恐惧可能会导致更大的害怕感，让你卡住。

And I want to tell you that if this is a thought that you're thinking, a hundred percent that it's compromising your ability to communicate freely and confidently.

我想告诉你，如果这是你的一个思维，百分之百会影响你自由自信地交流的能力。

All the things I talked about right now are limiting beliefs, beliefs that limit your full potential, limit your ability to communicate confidently and fluently.

我刚刚谈到的所有事情都是限制性信念，这些信念限制了你的全部潜力，限制了你自信而流利地交流的能力。

And the good thing about a limiting belief is that it's a thought, and you can change thoughts, it's not a fact, it's not a reality.

关于限制性信念的好处是它只是一种思维，而你可以改变思维，它并不是一个事实，不是现实。

The tricky thing about limiting beliefs is that you think it's just you just interpreting the world around you.

关于限制性信念的棘手之处，这就是你对周围世界的解释。

This is your reality.

这就是你的现实。

"Oh, I'm wasting someone's time." But it's not a fact, it's a belief.

“噢，我在浪费某人的时间。”但这不是事实，这是你的想法。

And as such, you can decide not to think it anymore.

因此，你可以决定不再去想它。

You can change it to "People want to hear what I have to say. They are patient with me.

你可以把它改成“人们想听听我要说的话，他们对我很有耐心。

They appreciate my attempt to communicate with them" – instead of, "I'm wasting their time, they're going to think I'm stupid, they're going to think I don't know how to speak in English." Okay?

他们感谢我试图与他们交流”——而不是“我在浪费他们的时间，他们会认为我很愚蠢，他们会认为我不知道如何用英语说话。"好吗？

So, try to understand which one of the three things that I've listed are things that you are thinking that make this fear of getting stuck a lot bigger than it should be.

所以，试着理解我列出的三件事中的哪一件是你在想的事情，让这种对卡住的恐惧比应该的要大得多。

And of course, if you can come up with other limiting thoughts, then write them in the comments below and share them with us.

当然，如果你能想出其他限制性的想法，那就把它们写在下面的评论里，和我们分享。

Okay.

好吗？

So now that we talked about the reasons why this is such a big fear, let's talk about what to do when you get stuck.

既然我们已经讨论了这是如此令人恐惧的原因，让我们来谈谈当你卡住了时该怎么办。

When you get stuck, the first thing that you need to do is remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.

当你卡住了时，你需要做的第一件事就是提醒自己，你正在尽你所能。

The more you get stressed out in a situation, the less likely you are to come out smoothly from this situation.

在紧张的情况下，你越是感到压力，顺利走出这种情况的可能性就越小。

Remind yourself that this is not your speech at the Oscars, or this is not your biggest interview, and it's okay to get stuck.

提醒自己这不是你在奥斯卡颁奖典礼上的演讲，也不是你最重要的面试，卡住一下没关系。

Give yourself permission to get stuck, because when you are not stressed, when your blood pressure is lower, you're more likely to come up with a next word.

给自己许可，允许自己卡住，因为当你不感到紧张，当你的血压较低时，你更有可能想到下一个词。

You're more likely to continue, as if nothing happened.

你更有可能继续，就像什么都没发生一样。

But when you get stressed out, you start thinking about it: "Oh, I'm stuck.

但是当你压力过大时，你会开始思考：“噢，我被卡住了。

Oh, they're going to think this, they're going to think that." And then your brain is so busy with the event of being stuck, then with what you actually want to say, right?

他们会这么想，他们会那么想。"然后你的大脑会被卡住的事件占据，而不是你实际想要表达的内容，对吧？

What is the word that I'm looking for?

我要找的词是什么？

So, take a deep breath, remind yourself it's okay to get stuck, and continue.

所以，深呼吸，提醒自己卡住是可以的，然后继续。

And then, what I recommend for you to do is this: first, you can just acknowledge it by saying, "Oh, I lost my train of thought", or "I think I'm confusing this, let me start over", or "Let me rephrase it".

然后，我建议你这样做：首先，你可以通过说，“我走神了”，或者“我想我弄混了，让我重新开始”，或者“让我重新表达一下”，来承认这一点。

And then you want to start over from the beginning of the idea or the beginning of the sentence.

然后你想从这个想法的开头或句子的开头重新开始。

Your brain will find a way to bypass the part where you got stuck and get to the end of the idea.

你的大脑会找到一种方法绕过你陷入困境的部分，到达想法的结尾。

Remember that you have a lot of words to use.

记住你有很多单词可以使用。

Don't focus on that one word you can't remember and feel like, "Oh, now I won't be able to say this".

不要专注于你不记得的那个词，然后觉得“现在我不能说这个了”。

You can find a word that is similar, you can find an entire sentence that explains it differently.

你可以找到一个相似的词，你可以找到一个不同的句子来解释它。

You know how many times in the middle of a live or a video that I'm recording, I can't find a certain word that I'm thinking about or that I want to say, and then I end up saying something slightly differently.

你知道在直播或录制视频时，有多少次我找不到我想说的某个词，然后最终说了一些略有不同的话。

Sometimes it's not as good as it could be.

有时候它并没有达到预期的效果。

Sometimes it actually takes me to a better place.

有时候我会表达的更好。

So you never know, you just have to go with the flow.

所以你永远不知道，你只能顺其自然。

Just like you're going on a tour and sometimes you want to make a right, and sometimes you will make a left, you'll end up getting to the same destination.

就像你要去旅行，有时你想右转，有时你会左转，你最终会到达同一个目的地。

But if you find yourself on this path where you have two roads and you don't know what to do, if you just stay there and get stuck, nothing good is going to come out of it, you're not going to get to your destination.

但如果你发现自己在这条路上有两条岔路，不知道该怎么办，如果你停在那里卡住，是不会有好的结果的，你不会到达目的地。

So just find another way.

那就另想办法吧。

And one of the best ways to do that is to start over.

最好的方法之一就是重新开始。

If you can't think of a specific word, let go.

如果你想不出一个具体的词，那就放手。

Practice letting go of a thought or an idea or an entire sentence, and either start over, use a different word, or just say something completely different.

练习放下一个想法、观点或整个句子，要么重新开始，使用不同的词，要么说一些完全不同的东西。

It's going to make things a lot lighter and also make you feel a lot more confident when speaking.

它会让事情变得轻松很多，也会让你在说话时感到更加自信。

And the most important thing, don't try to hide it.

最重要的是，不要试图隐藏它。

You speak English as a second language.

你把英语作为第二语言。

You are entitled to make mistakes and to get stuck.

你有权犯错误和陷入困境。

So, sometimes just saying, "Oh, I'm totally stuck right now".

所以，有时候只是说，“噢，我现在完全卡住了”。

And even asking for help is the best strategy ever, and also an opportunity to learn.

甚至寻求帮助也是很好的策略，也是学习的机会。

So, don't make a big deal out of it, don't make it more than what it is, and just understand that it's a natural part of the learning process.

所以，不要把它看得太重，不要把它看得太重，只要明白这是学习过程中自然的一部分。

All right.

好了。

So now I have a question for you.

现在，我有个问题要问你。

What do you do when you get stuck?

当你卡住时，你会怎么做？

Let us know in the comments and let's start a conversation and share our knowledge with everyone, with the entire community, because that's when the best ideas appear.

在评论中告诉我们，让我们开始一场对话，与每个人、整个社区分享我们的知识，因为那时最好的想法就会出现。

All right.

好了。

I hope you enjoyed it.

我希望你喜欢本期视频。

If you did, consider subscribing to my channel and sharing it with people you think might need it.

如果你喜欢的话，考虑订阅我的频道并与你认为可能需要的人分享。

You can also check out my website at hadarshemesh. com where I have a ton of free resources for you to be able to speak English, practice English, and feel confident, clear and free when speaking.

你还可以访问我的网站 hadarshemesh.com，那里有大量免费资源供你练习英语，提高英语口语，并在说英语时感到自信、清晰和自由。

Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day.

祝你今天休息愉快。

And I will see you next week in the next video.

我们下周视频再见。

Bye.

再见。