During the War of the Rebellion, a new and influential club was established in the city of Baltimore in the State of Maryland. It is well known with what energy the taste for military matters became developed among that nation of ship-owners, shopkeepers, and mechanics. Simple tradesmen jumped their counters to become extemporized captains, colonels, and generals without having ever passed the School of Instruction at West Point; nevertheless; they quickly rivaled their compeers of the old continent, and, like them, carried off victories by dint of lavish expenditure in ammunition, money ,and men.
美国内战期间，马里兰州的巴尔的摩市出现了一个很有影响力的新俱乐部。大家都知道那些船东、店主，还有机械师对军事的爱好是如何时兴起来的。很多普通的商人，放弃经商，摇身一变成为上尉、上校，甚至将军，而他们从没读过西点军校的指挥学院。不过他们很快就和旧大陆的那些同行们旗鼓相当了，而且还像他们一样靠着大量的枪炮弹药，靠着无度地挥霍金钱，靠着牺牲大量的士兵打了几次胜仗。
But the point in which the Americans singularly distanced the Europeans was in the science of gunnery. Not, indeed, that their weapons retained a higher degree of perfection than theirs, but that they exhibited unheard-of dimensions, and consequently attained hitherto unheard-of ranges. In point of grazing, plunging, oblique, or enfilading, or point-blank firing, the English, French, and Prussians have nothing to learn; but their cannon, howitzers, and mortars are mere pocket-pistols compared with the formidable engines of the American artillery.
但是美国人远超于欧洲人的，是在枪炮制造技术方面。这倒也不是说他们的武器就比别人的精良，而是他们制造的枪炮尺寸空前，因而射程空前。在擦地射击、俯射、斜射、纵射、近距平射等方面，英国人、法国人，还有普鲁士人已经没什么可再学的了，但他们的大炮、榴弹炮、迫击炮跟美国威力强大的火炮相比，就只是袖珍手枪了。
This fact need surprise no one. The Yankees, the first mechanicians in the world, are engineers— just as the Italian...
其实人们也不用大惊小怪。美国佬是世界上第一批机械专家，他们天生就是做工程师的材料——就像意大利人天生就是音乐家，德国人天生就是玄学家一样。因此他们把这份创新天赋用到枪炮制造技术上，简直是再自然不过了。瞧瞧帕罗特、达尔格伦和罗德曼的杰作。阿姆斯特朗、帕利瑟，还有博利厄这些欧洲的枪炮专家们被迫在他们的美国对手面前低头。
Now when an American has an idea, he directly seeks a second American to share it. If there be three, they elect a president and two secretaries. Given four, they name a keeper of records, and the office is ready for work; five, they convene a general meeting, and the club is fully constituted. So things were managed in Baltimore. The inventor of a new cannon associated himself with the caster and the borer. Thus was formed the nucleus of the "Gun Club." In a single month after its formation it numbered 1,833 effective members and 30,565 corresponding members.
如果有个美国人想出了好主意，他马上就会寻找另一个美国人与之分享。如果有三个人，他们就会从中选一个主席，其他两人做秘书。假如有四个人，他们就会指派一人负责档案管理，这样他们的办事处就万事俱备了，要是有五个人，他们就会召开全体会议，成立一个完备的俱乐部。在巴尔的摩，事情就是这样处理的。一种新型大炮的发明者就是与铸造工和钻孔工协同合作的。这样，所谓的“枪炮俱乐部”的核心就形成了。成立仅一个月，俱乐部就吸收了1,833名正式会员，30,565名通讯会员。
One condition was imposed as a sine qua non upon every candidate for admission into the association, and that was the condition of having designed, or (more or less) perfected a cannon; or, in default of a cannon, at least a firearm of some description. It may, however, be mentioned that mere inventors of revolvers, fire-shooting carbines, and similar small arms, met with little consideration. Artillerists always commanded the chief place of favor.
每一个想参加该组织的人都必须具备一个条件，那就是他必须已经设计过、或（或多或少）改良过一种大炮，就算不是大炮，至少也得是某种其他类型的枪炮。不过，需要事先说明一下，仅仅发明左轮手枪、卡宾火枪和一些类似的小型武器的人，是得不到重视的。而大炮专家一向最得宠。
The estimation in which these gentlemen were held, according to one of the most scientific exponents of the Gun Club, was "proportional to the masses of their guns, and in the direct ratio of the square of the distances attained by their projectiles."
正如枪炮俱乐部最严谨的发言人所云，俱乐部会员的受尊重程度“与他们发明的枪炮体积成正比，与他们枪炮射程的平方成正比。”
The Gun Club once founded, it is easy to conceive the result of the inventive genius of the Americans. Their military weapons attained colossal proportions, and their projectiles, exceeding the prescribed limits, unfortunately occasionally cut in two some unoffending pedestrians. These inventions, in fact, left far in the rear the timid instruments of European artillery.
枪炮俱乐部一成立，美国人的发明天赋会带来什么样的结果就可想而知了。他们的军事武器体积庞大，炮弹会飞出规定的界限，偶尔把一些无辜的路人炸为两段。实际上，这些大炮已经把欧洲那些寒碜的火炮远远抛在后面了。
It is but fair to add that these Yankees, brave as they have ever proved themselves to be, did not confine themselves to theories and formulae, but that they paid heavily, in propria persona, for their inventions. Among them were to be counted officers of all ranks, from lieutenants to generals; military men of every age, from those who were just making their debut in the profession of arms up to those who had grown old in the gun-carriage. Many had found their rest on the field of battle whose names figured in the "Book of Honor" of the Gun Club; and of those who made good their return the greater proportion bore the marks of their indisputable valor. Crutches, wooden legs, artificial arms, steel hooks, caoutchouc jaws, silver craniums, platinum noses, were all to be found in the collection; and it was calculated by the great statistician Pitcairn that throughout the Gun Club there was not quite one arm between four persons and two legs between six.
还要说明的是，这些美国佬正如他们自己所证明的那样勇敢，从来不受理论与规则的约束，可是这样一来，他们也为自己的发明付出了沉重的代价。俱乐部内各个级别的军官都有，小到中尉，大到将军；多大岁数的军人都有，有刚刚从事军人职业的新兵，也有握了半辈子枪上了年纪的老兵。他们当中有很多已经长眠沙场，他们的名字被载入了枪炮俱乐部的“光荣簿”；大多有幸生还的人身上也留下了种种烙印，述说着他们无可辩驳的勇猛。这些生还的人们当中，随处可见拄拐的，安木头假肢、假胳膊、钢制钩状假手的，装橡胶下巴、银头盖骨、白金鼻子的。伟大的统计学家皮特凯恩曾计算过，在整个枪炮俱乐部中，平均四个人都分不到一只完整的胳膊，六个人中也找不到两条好腿。
Nevertheless, these valiant artillerists took no particular account of these little facts, and felt justly proud when the despatches of a battle returned the number of victims at ten-fold the quantity of projectiles expended.
然而，这些英勇的大炮专家们却对此全然不顾，当军情急件报告伤亡人数是所消耗的炮弹数的十倍时，他们都觉得自己有充分理由感到自豪。
One day, however— sad and melancholy day!— peace was signed between the survivors of the war; the thunder of the guns gradually ceased, the mortars were silent, the howitzers were muzzled for an indefinite period, the cannon, with muzzles depressed, were returned into the arsenal, the shot were repiled, all bloody reminiscences were effaced; the cotton-plants grew luxuriantly in the well-manured fields, all mourning garments were laid aside, together with grief; and the Gun Club was relegated to profound inactivity.
然而有一天——那是非常令人悲哀的一天！——战争的幸存者们签署了和平协定，雷鸣般的枪炮声渐渐停止，迫击炮沉默了，榴弹炮也无限期变成了哑巴，机关炮也放下炮筒，被运回了军械库，炮弹堆积如山，所有血腥的回忆都渐渐消退。棉花在肥沃的田间枝繁叶茂地生长，所有丧服都收起来了，悲痛也随之消失。枪炮俱乐部一下子无事可做了。
Some few of the more advanced and inveterate theorists set themselves again to work upon calculations regarding the laws of projectiles. They reverted invariably to gigantic shells and howitzers of unparalleled caliber. Still in default of practical experience what was the value of mere theories? Consequently, the clubrooms became deserted, the servants dozed in the antechambers, the newspapers grew mouldy on the tables, sounds of snoring came from dark corners, and the members of the Gun Club, erstwhile so noisy in their seances, were reduced to silence by this disastrous peace and gave themselves up wholly to dreams of a Platonic kind of artillery.
有一些水平较高、沉迷于制造大炮的理论家，仍在孜孜不倦地演算着炮弹投射的规律。他们一如既往地研究巨型炮弹和口径空前大的榴弹炮。但是缺少了实践，纯粹的理论又有什么价值呢？结果，俱乐部活动室变得冷冷清清，服务员在前厅里打盹，桌上的报纸都发了霉，黑暗的角落里不时传来鼾声。以往在大会上大声吵闹的俱乐部会员们，也变得沉默不语，因为如今的和平对他们来说简直是一场灾难，他们只能彻底沉浸在对大炮柏拉图式的憧憬当中。
"This is horrible!" said Tom Hunter one evening, while rapidly carbonizing his wooden legs in the fireplace of the smoking-room; "nothing to do! nothing to look forward to! what a loathsome existence! When again shall the guns arouse us in the morning with their delightful reports?"
“这太可怕了！”一天傍晚汤姆·亨特在吸烟室里说，他的木头腿险些被壁炉烤焦；“无事可做！无所期待！多么令人憎恶的生活！什么时候我们早晨能再被动听的枪炮声叫醒啊？”
"Those days are gone by," said jolly Bilsby, trying to extend his missing arms. "It was delightful once upon a time! One invented a gun, and hardly was it cast, when one hastened to try it in the face of the enemy! Then one returned to camp with a word of encouragement from Sherman or a friendly shake of the hand from McClellan. But now the generals are gone back to their counters; and in place of projectiles, they despatch bales of cotton. By Jove, the future of gunnery in America is lost!"
“那样的日子一去不复返喽。”快乐的倍尔斯贝一边说，一边试着抻抻他残缺的胳膊，“从前多快乐啊！如果有人发明了一种大炮，铸造出来以后马上就可以在敌人身上实验！然后这个人回到营地，就会听到舍曼的鼓励，或者能捞着和麦克莱伦进行一次友好的握手。可如今，那些将军们都已回到柜台前；他们不再发射炮弹，而是发送起棉花捆来。天啊，美国的枪炮制造没有前途了！”
"Ay! and no war in prospect!" continued the famous James T. Maston, scratching with his steel hook his gutta-percha cranium. "Not a cloud on the horizon! and that too at such a critical period in the progress of the science of artillery! Yes, gentlemen! I who address you have myself this very morning perfected a model (plan, section, elevation, etc.) of a mortar destined to change all the conditions of warfare!”
“唉！再也盼不来战争了！”著名的詹姆斯·T.马斯顿接着说道，边说边用他的钢制钩状假手挠着杜仲胶做的假脑壳，再也盼不来战争了！”著名的詹姆斯·T. 马斯顿接着说道，边说边用他的钢制钩状假手挠着杜仲胶做的假脑壳，“毫无迹象！在大炮制造技术发展的关键时期，竟毫无迹象表明要有战争！可不是吗，先生们！跟你们说，就在今天早上，我刚刚完善了一个迫击炮模型（包括平面图、截面图、正面图等等）。它注定会扭转战争的整个局势！”
"No! is it possible?" replied Tom Hunter, his thoughts reverting involuntarily to a former invention of the Hon.
“不！这可能吗？”汤姆·亨特回答道。他不由得想起了这位阁下之前的一个发明。
J. T. Maston, by which, at its first trial, he had succeeded in killing three hundred and thirty-seven people.
J. T. 马斯顿当时发明了一种大炮，第一次实验就炸死了337个人。
"Fact!" replied he. "Still, what is the use of so many studies worked out, so many difficulties vanquished? It's mere waste of time! The New World seems to have made up its mind to live in peace; and our bellicose Tribune predicts some approaching catastrophes arising out of this scandalous increase of population.”
“的确如此！”他说，“但是，搞这么多试验，克服这么多困难有什么用？纯粹是在浪费时间！新世界里的人们好像铁了心要过和平的生活；不过，我们好战的《论坛报》预言由于人口恶性增长，一场灾难即将来临。”
"Nevertheless," replied Colonel Blomsberry, "they are always struggling in Europe to maintain the principle of nationalities."
“然而，”布鲁姆斯伯里上校说道，“在欧洲，人们一直在为维持民族原则而斗争。”
"Well?"
“那又怎么样？”
"Well, there might be some field for enterprise down there; and if they would accept our services——”
“唔，那里或许有生意可做；如果他们愿意接受我们的帮助——”
"What are you dreaming of?" screamed Bilsby; "work at gunnery for the benefit of foreigners?"
“你这是在做什么梦呀？”倍尔斯贝尖叫道；“为外国人造大炮，让他们受益？”
"That would be better than doing nothing here," returned the colonel.
“总比在这里无事可做强吧。”上校反驳说。
"Quite so," said J. T. Matson; "but still we need not dream of that expedient."
“理是这么个理，”J. T. 梅特森说；“但是，我们也没必要想出那样的权宜之计。”
"And why not?" demanded the colonel.
“为什么不呢？”上校问道。
"Because their ideas of progress in the Old World are contrary to our American habits of thought. Those fellows believe that one can't become a general without having served first as an ensign; which is as much as to say that one can't point a gun without having first cast it oneself!”
“因为在他们那种旧世界里，人们的发展观与我们美国人的思维习惯相反。那帮家伙认为不从少尉干起就当不了将军；就好比没造过枪的人就不会瞄准！”
"Ridiculous!" replied Tom Hunter, whittling with his bowie-knife the arms of his easy chair; "but if that be the case there, all that is left for us is to plant tobacco and distill whale-oil.”
“荒唐！”汤姆·亨特说道，他正在用一把博伊刀削他坐着的安乐椅的扶手；“不过，如果那里的情形真是那样的话，那我们所能做的也只有种种烟草，炼炼鲸油了。“
"What!" roared J. T. Maston, "shall we not employ these remaining years of our life in perfecting firearms? Shall there never be a fresh opportunity of trying the ranges of projectiles? Shall the air never again be lighted with the glare of our guns? No international difficulty ever arise to enable us to declare war against some transatlantic power? Shall not the French sink one of our steamers, or the English, in defiance of the rights of nations, hang a few of our countrymen?"
“什么！”J. T. 马斯顿吼道，“难道我们的余生再没有机会改进枪炮了吗？我们再也没有机会去研究炮弹的射程了吗？天空再也不会被我们制造的枪炮点亮了吗？再也不会出现国际争端，给我们一个向大洋彼岸的某国宣战的理由了吗？难道法国人就不能击沉我们的火轮，英国人就不能无视国家权限，绞死我们几个同胞吗？”
"No such luck," replied Colonel Blomsberry; "nothing of the kind is likely to happen; and even if it did, we should not profit by it. American susceptibility is fast declining, and we are all going to the dogs."
“没这样的好运气，”布鲁姆斯伯里上校说，“不可能发生这种事；而且即使发生了，我们也不应该从这种事中获利。美国人的激情正在迅速减退，我们都在走向毁灭。”
"It is too true," replied J. T. Maston, with fresh violence; "there are a thousand grounds for fighting, and yet we don't fight. We save up our arms and legs for the benefit of nations who don't know what to do with them! But stop—without going out of one's way to find a cause for war—did not North America once belong to the English?”
“你说得太对了，”J. T. 马斯顿开始有些激动了，“有一千个理由打仗，可我们就是不打。我们为了国家的利益留着胳膊腿，可国家不知道用它们来做什么！不过等等——不用特地寻找战争理由——难道美国北部以前不是属于英国人的吗？”
"Undoubtedly," replied Tom Hunter, stamping his crutch with fury.
“毫无疑问。”汤姆·亨特边说边愤怒地戳着他的拐杖。
"Well, then," replied J. T. Maston, "why should not England in her turn belong to the Americans?"
“那么，”J. T. 马斯顿接着说道，“为什么不该轮到英国属于我们美国人呢？”
"It would be but just and fair," returned Colonel Blomsberry.
“这才合理，才公平。”布鲁姆斯伯里上校答道。
"Go and propose it to the President of the United States," cried J. T. Maston, "and see how he will receive you."
“去向美国总统建议，”J. T. 马斯顿大声嚷道，“看看总统如何接待你。”
"Bah!" growled Bilsby between the four teeth which the war had left him; "that will never do!"
“呸！”倍里斯贝从战争中仅存的四颗牙中间挤出一句话，“不管用的！”
"By Jove!" cried J. T. Maston, "he mustn't count on my vote at the next election!”
“天啊！”J. T. 马斯顿大声叫道，”下次选举他不要指望我投他的票啦！”
"Nor on ours," replied unanimously all the bellicose invalids.
“也不要指望我们了。”所有残废的好战分子异口同声地答道。
"Meanwhile," replied J. T. Maston, "allow me to say that, if I cannot get an opportunity to try my new mortars on a real field of battle, I shall say good-by to the members of the Gun Club, and go and bury myself in the prairies of Arkansas!”
“与此同时，”J. T. 马斯顿接着说，”请允许我这样说：如果我再没有机会在真正的战场上试验我新设计的迫击炮，我将告别所有的枪炮俱乐部成员，去阿肯色州，把自己葬在那里的大草原上算了！”
"In that case we will accompany you," cried the others.
“如果那样的话，我们都去陪你。”其他人嚷道。
Matters were in this unfortunate condition, and the club was threatened with approaching dissolution, when an unexpected circumstance occurred to prevent so deplorable a catastrophe.
事态不容乐观，俱乐部面临着解散的威胁。就在这关键时刻，一件意想不到的事情发生了，阻止了这场不幸的灾难。
On the morrow after this conversation every member of the association received a sealed circular couched in the following terms:
就在这场谈话的次日，俱乐部每个成员都收到了一份密封的通知，内容如下：
BALTIMORE, October 3. The president of the Gun Club has the honor to inform his colleagues that, at the meeting of the 5th instant, he will bring before them a communication of an extremely interesting nature. He requests, therefore, that they will make it convenient to attend in accordance with the present invitation. Very cordially, IMPEY BARBICANE, P.G.C.
巴尔的摩，十月三日。枪炮俱乐部的主席荣幸地通知他的每一位同仁，在本月五日的会议上，他将给大家带来一个非常有趣的消息。因此，他要求会员们接受这次邀请，安排好自己的时间，届时方便参会。诚挚地，英庇·巴比康，P. G. C.
