公号：易用美剧
你弟弟的午餐装好了
Okay, your brother's lunch is packed.
你的午餐自己买
You're buying your own lunch.
卢克 艾丽克斯 快点 出发了
Luke, Alex, come on. Let's go.
他来了 最后一次夏日握手
There he is. Last chance for the summer handshake.
老爸
Dad.
继续啊 我们只做了一半
Come on. We're only halfway done.
我需要帮忙
I need help.
我本来该写暑假日记的 今天就得交了
I was supposed to keep a journal all summer. It's due today.
开学第一天就落后了
Wow, first day of school and you're already behind?
我死定了
I'm dead.
好吧 说说看你还差多少
All right. Tell me how far you've gotten.
好吧
Okay.
"6月21日 找到一根棍子"
"June 21. Found a stick."
"6月22日" 没了
"June 22." That's it.
- 没了 -那棍子真的很赞
- That's it? - It was a really cool stick.
他说的没错 长得就跟蛇一样
He's right. It looked like a snake.
每天早上送大家出门
Getting everybody out of the house in the morning
可不是件省心的事
can be really tough,
尤其是开学第一天
especially the first day of school.
从我俩7点起床的那一刻开始
From the minute we get up at 7:00
到把他们送进学校 就没一刻休息过
till we drop 'em off at school, it is go, go, go.
我6点就起来了
I get up at 6:00.
我还5点起床呢
I get up at 5:00.
说真的 我6点就起了
Seriously. I get up at 6:00.
原来是你啊 我还以为是浣熊进来了呢
That's you? I thought we had a raccoon.
真不敢相信我的宝贝都上5年级了
I can't believe my little boy is going into the fifth grade.
我还记得他用小手紧握着我手指
He used to hold my finger with his little hand
一双大眼望着我的样子呢
and look at me with those big eyes.
那是我的小宝贝啊 杰
Mi nio pequeo, Jay.
是啊 孩子总会长大
Yup, they grow up.
快点 曼尼 出发了
Come on, Manny. Let's get going.
我的发型如何
How's my hair?
等等 你穿的是个什么玩意儿
Hold on. What are you wearing there?
跟圣诞树罩子一样
That looks like an old Christmas tree skirt.
这是一件传统的哥伦比亚斗篷
It's a traditional Colombian poncho.
我想让新同学知道
I want my new classmates to know
我对我的老祖先有多么自豪
I'm proud of my heritage.
我觉得你帅呆了 小宝贝
I think you look very handsome. Lindo.
真的吗 是我载他去学校呢
Oh, really? Am I driving him to school
还是他自己骑驴去
or is he gonna ride his burro?
*你是个可爱派 没错 就是你*
*You are a cutie pie, yes, you are*
*你是个可爱派*
*You are a cutie pie*
你还在装那些幼儿防护设备吗
Are you still baby-proofing?
我们家到处都是尖角
Everything we own is pointy.
我女儿怎么一身唐娜·莎曼的打扮
Why is our daughter dressed like Donna Summer?
她才不是唐娜·莎曼
She is not Donna Summer.
明明是黄金岁月时期的戴安娜·罗斯
Clearly she's Diana Ross from the R.C.A. Years.
你说爹地怎么没看出来呢
How is daddy not seeing that?
我还以为你已经玩腻了呢
I really thought you were done with this.
我可没这么说
I made no such promises.
- 我算得上是个摄影爱好者 -对
- I guess I'm somewhat of a shutterbug. - Yes.
我的模特新宠嘛 当然就是莉莉了
And my new favorite model, of course, is Lily.
我刚刚替莉莉拍完一整套
I just completed a series of photographs
流行偶像模仿写真照
of her dressed as various pop icons.
比如说
Let's see.
我们拍模仿过奧莉维亚·纽顿·约翰
I've done Olivia Newton-John.
和出道早期的麦当娜
I've done Madonna, the early years,
史提夫·汪达
Stevie Wonder-
对 有时候莉莉换衣服比雪儿还勤
Yeah, there are days when Lily has more costume changes than Cher.
雪儿 我怎么把她给忘了
Cher! How could I forget Cher?
真是羞愧啊
That's embarrassing.
你只为这个羞愧吗
That's embarrassing?
摩登家庭
第一季第六集
宝贝 你是要搬出去吗
Honey, you moving out?
再忍5年就搬
Five more years.
能帮点儿忙吗
A little help here?
所以我们才建议你学小提琴
This is why we suggested the violin.
大提琴手比较讨大学管弦乐队喜欢
A cello is more in demand in university orchestras.
- 你知道什么不讨人喜欢吗 -什么
- You know what's not in demand? - Oh, what?
参加管弦乐团的姑娘
Girls who play in university orchestras.
- 来 我帮你提到路边去吧 -给
- Here, I'll help you carry it out to the curb. - Okay. Here.
菲尔 把裤子穿上
Phil, put on some pants.
拜托 这裤子比我的泳裤长多了
Come on! This covers up more than my bathing suit.
别提你的泳裤了
And don't remind me.
海莉 亲爱的
Haley, honey-
别忘了 驾校教练会去接你下课
Don't forget, the driving instructor is picking you up from school.
他就不能换个地儿接我吗
Can't he pick me up someplace else?
我可不想让同学以为我在跟一个
I don't want kids at school thinking I'm dating...
40岁又不帅的驾校教练约会
a 40-year-old driving instructor who's not even cute.
海莉刚拿到驾驶实习证
Haley just got her learner's permit.
我们轮流陪她开车
We've been taking turns driving with her.
最基本的驾驶规则之一
One of the really standard rules of the road...
就是要和前面的车
is we want to keep a safe distance
保持安全距离
between us and the car in front.
- 这距离不安全 不安全啊 -对
- And that is not safe right there. Not safe. - Right.
- 好 并道 -我
- Okay, merge. - I-
并道 并道 并道并道快并道
Merge. Merge! Merge! Merge! Merge!
闭嘴 你再叫我都崩溃了
Stop it! You're freaking me out!
这导航系统乱七八糟的
This navigation system is all messed up.
上面说我们开进了一个公园里
It thinks we're in a park.
我的天 还真是一个公园
Oh, my God! It is a park!
- 躲开那群孩子 -噢 天啊
- Away from the kids! - Oh, my God!
- 朝湖里开 -我该
- Aim for the lake! - I wanted-
我们夫妻俩真是命悬一线啊
Makes you realize we're all just hanging by a thread.
开学第一天 曼尼最不需要的
The last thing Manny needs on his first day of school...
就是你"打计"他的自信心了
is you "undermelting" his confidence.
- 是打击 -你现在又打击我了
- Undermining. - Now you're doing it to me too.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry,
但人们只在两种情况下穿雨披
but there's only two places anyone should wear a poncho-
去尼亚加拉大瀑布和玩激流勇进
Niagara Falls and log rides.
你太小题大作了
You think too much about these things.
我向来都是随心所欲 穿各种奇装异服
I wear all sort of daring outfits all the time,
而别人都很膜拜我 因为我穿出了自信
and people admire them because I wear them with the confidence.
敢情他们膜拜的只是你的自信啊
Yeah, I'm sure it's the confidence they're admiring.
我只是觉得 这有点儿太过分了
I just- i just think it's a little over-the-top.
知道吗 你该放松点儿 开心点儿
You know what? You need to loosen up and have fun.
我够放了 我够开了
I am loose. I'm fun.
还记得 上周用早餐当晚餐吗
Remember, uh, breakfast for dinner last week?
就是我的主意
My idea.
自从带莉莉回来后你就紧张得要死
Ever since we brought Lily home, you've been tense.
你到处都上了儿童锁 还尽读些育儿书籍
All you do is put child locks on things, read parenting books.
你就不能消停一下吗 来抱抱你女儿
Would you please stop and- Here, just hold your daughter.
抱抱她 放松点
Hold her and relax.
- 好吧 甜心 来吧 -放轻松
- All right, sweetheart, come on. - Just relax.
小甜心
Aw, sweetheart.
你给她喷了发胶吗
Did you put hair spray on this?
一点点 我来放点音乐
Just a little bit. I'm gonna put some music on.
不 小卡 我还要去上班
No, Cam, I have to go to work.
- 跟她跳跳舞 -别 没时间了
- Dance with her. - Come on, it's not time for this.
我要放舞曲了哦
Put a little boogie in it.
饶了我吧
Oh, come on.
跳吧 你知道这首歌是你的菜
Just dance. You know you love this song.
的确是首好歌
This is actually a really good song.
那好吧 好吧
All right. Okay.
谁才是舞后呢
Who's a dancing queen, huh?
一起摇摆吧
Put a little boogie in it.
看 好玩吧 是不是
See? Fun, right?
妈呀 撞到她的头了吗
Oh, my- Was that her head?
不 我想要是撞到头 她肯定早就
No, I think if it was her head, she would be-
好吧 是撞到头了 不哭 不哭
Yeah, it was her head. Okay. Okay.
没事的 没事的 我知道
Yes. Yes, I know.
我把布布熊冰袋拿来了
I got Boo-boo Bear from the freezer.
你脸上怎么有巧克力
Why do you have chocolate on your face?
布布熊压在派下面了
It was under a pie.
所以你就吃出了一条生路吗
So you ate your way to it?
我只能见机行事 你又不帮我
I made a judgment call. You weren't there.
- 你看她没事吧 -她哭得没那么凶了
- Do you think she's all right? - She didn't cry that much.
也许这不是好兆头呢 你懂的
Maybe that's a bad sign. You know,
我们得试着让她笑出来
we should try and make her laugh.
- 为什么 -那样我们就知道她没事了
- Why? - 'Cause that's how we'll know she's okay.
那个 狗狗在哪里
Where's... uh... where's Doggy?
狗狗 狗狗 这儿 狗狗
Doggy. Doggy. Here, Doggy.
好吧 我来
Okay. There you go.
狗不是这么叫的
But it's a dog.
我知道 所以才好笑
Yeah, I know. That's why it's funny.
我没觉得有那么好笑
I don't think it's as funny as you think it is.
我们直接打给你姐吧
Can we please just call your sister?
不 不 小卡 为什么
No, no. Cam- Cam- - Why?
这样她就可以盛气凌人说三道四了
So she can be all judgmental and condescending,
就好像她是个专家
like she's the expert and
而我根本是育儿白痴
I don't know how to take care of a baby?
米奇尔 她是你的家人
Mitchell, she is your family.
她当然会盛气凌人说三道四了
Of course she's gonna be judgmental and condescending.
喂
Hello?
嗨 没什么大事儿 就是想问问
Hey, hi, um- Not a big deal. Just wondering.
你家孩子小时候 有没有被你们
When your kids were small, did you ever-
怎么说呢 用头撞过墙呢
I don't know- smack their heads into a wall?
一般我们只让他们闭门思过而已
Usually we just gave time-outs.
不 不 是意外撞到
No, no, accidentally.
我们不小心撞到了莉莉的头
Um, we just kind of bonked Lily's head.
撞得不是很重 她也哭得不厉害
It wasn't very hard and she's not acting any differently,
但我还是担心
but I just worry-
放松 常有的事啦
Relax. It happens.
卢克就老是撞到头 不也好好的
Luke used to bang his head all the time and he's fine.
好吧 谢谢你 真心感激 好的
Okay, all right, thank you. Thanks. That helps. Okay, okay.
我们得带她去看医生 把车开出来
We gotta take her to the doctor. Load up the car.
- 歌洛莉亚 -我在这儿
- Gloria? - I'm here.
我刚把曼尼送到学校 突然发现
I, uh, just dropped Manny off at school, and I realized...
我刚把曼尼送到学校了
I just dropped Manny off at school.
我的妈呀
Oh, boy.
我还以为在你老年痴呆前
And I was hoping we'd still have a few more good years
- 我们还能过几年好日子呢 -不 我是说
- before the mind started to go. - No, what I'm saying,
几个月来 我们终于能过过二人世界了
we have the day to ourselves, the first time in months.
我们得好好利用呀
We should take advantage of it.
去俱乐部玩玩
Go to the club,
吃顿好的
nice lunch,
做做按摩
some massages.
- 你的工作呢 -我是老板啊
- What about work? - I'm the boss.
自从娶了你 人家都好奇我居然还去上班
Since I married you, people are surprised I come in at all.
杰很有心思
Jay's very spontaneous.
他总能给我惊喜 小礼物啊 度假啊
He's always surprising me with little presents, fun getaways.
第一次结婚时 我没怎么尽责
I wasn't the greatest husband the first time around,
不过这次我在努力改进
but I'm trying to do better this time.
也许下次结婚 我就能成模范了
And maybe by my third marriage, I'll have it down pat.
得 待会儿就得为此付出代价了
Yeah, that one's gonna cost me.
你在看什么书呢
What ya reading there? A book?
对 我老早就想读这本了
Yeah. I've been meaning to get to it for a while.
开篇有个地图
Ooh, it's got a map at the beginning.
我喜欢这种的
I like it when books do that.
你今早不是要带客人去看房吗
Don't you have an open house this morning?
我改时间了
I rescheduled.
我想你也许希望我陪陪你
Thought you might like some company.
对家庭主妇们来说
Well, the first day of school can be tough
开学第一天肯定无聊至极吧
for stay-at-home moms.
因为你不得不适应
Now, you have to understand,
孩子们也走了 巢也空了
the kids are gone, the nest is empty.
她们一下慌了神了
They are rudderless.
而大多数男人都不会注意到这一点
And a lot of guys wouldn't even notice,
不过我可不是这样的男人
but I'm not a lot of guys.
我总是用心聆听
I listen with my mind,
而如果你仔细观察 会发现女人总是
and if you pay attention, women will tell you what they want...
嘴上说一套 心里想另外一套
by telling you the opposite of what they want.
有一天 克莱尔说"把你的车挪开点"
Like the other day, Claire was, like, "You have to move your car.
"车库里装不下我们俩的车"
There's no space in the garage for both of our cars."
而她其实想说的是
And what she's really saying is that,
也许我该换一辆跑车
you know, I should probably get a sports car.
我是想要安静一天的
I was sort of looking forward to a quiet day.
读读书 出去跑跑步之类的
Thought I'd just read, maybe go for a run later, that's it.
好啊 我们一起去跑步吧
Great. We'll run together.
你不必陪我的
You don't have to do that.
我知道
I know.
用心聆听
Listening.
其实呢 我就想一个人跑步
The thing is, I like to run alone.
而且我跑得挺快 所以
And I run kinda fast, so-
- 所以什么 -所以我不确定你跟得上
- So? - So I'm not sure you're gonna be able to keep up with me.
- 你开玩笑的吧 -不是
- You're kid- you're kidding, right? - No.
你真觉得我追不上你吗
You really think I can't keep up with you?
我觉得你都没理解我的意思
I'm not sure you can keep up with this conversation.
你肯定忘了我每天早上都竞走的
I think you're forgetting that I power-walk every morning...
还穿着一个医生设计的
and that I wear my special shoes with the big soles,
特制厚底健步鞋
which were designed by a doctor.
对 我知道 可我每天都跑步
Yes, I know. But I run every day.
你真觉得你能跑的和我一样快吗
You really think you can run as fast as me?
不 菲尔 我跑起来可远远得
No, Phil, I think I can run much, much faster...
比你快
than you.
砰 就这样 一整天都逆转了
Boom. Just like that, the whole day changed.
杠上了 她知道
It was game on. She knew it.
我知道 我们都知道
I knew it. We both knew it.
我只是想看会儿书
I just wanna read.
我要预约上次帮我按的那个人
I think I'II order what I had the last time.
叫什么来着
What was that called?
你只是想让我说出口
You want me to say it
- 因为你想听我发弹舌R音 -说一个吧
- because you want me to roll my R's. - Come on!
鲁儿宾
Reuben.
- 杰 这是什么 -可能是旧盖车布吧
- Jay, what is this? - Oh, looks like my old car cover.
少来这一套 这是曼尼的斗篷
Don't give me that. This is Manny's poncho.
它怎么在这儿
What is it doing here?
也许在上学路上他突然打算脱了它
Maybe he decided to take it off on the way to school.
你跟他说什么了
What did you say to him?
没什么 我就说了点儿笑话
Nothing. I... told some jokes.
你肯定胡扯了一大篇
You say plenty with your jokes.
杰 他很崇拜你的
Jay, he looks up to you.
他那么尊重你的意见
He respects your opinion.
我们是躲过了一劫
We dodged a bullet on this.
相信我 我是过来人
Trust me. I've been down this road before.
我记得有一次米奇尔
I remember one time Mitchell
决定带着一个搞笑的围巾去上课
decided to wear a jaunty scarf to school.
我什么都没说
I kept my mouth shut.
结果他被踢得屁股了开花
He got his jaunty butt kicked.
我爸总觉得我从小就挺花枝招展的
My dad has this perception that I was very flamboyant as a kid,
简直是纯属鬼扯
which is just- it's nonsense,
我的同志行为一直都掩藏的超好的
because I kept the whole gay thing very under wraps.
我完全是男人中的男人
You know, I was just a guy's guy.
基本都算是运动健将型了
I was basically a jock.
你们懂的
You know?
那我们就该扭曲曼尼的思想
So we should crush Manny's spirit...
毁掉他的天性吗
and destroy everything that makes him who he is.
我只是说
I'm just saying,
我可不乐意 看着儿子天天受人欺负
it's no fun to see your kid get picked on every day,
被人折磨 就因为他与众不同
getting tormented just because he's different.
现在我跟你说了 你又得伤心了
Now I'm telling you, it rips your heart out.
蝙蝠侠也穿着披肩 就没人指责他
Well, Batman doesn't get picked on and he wears a cape.
斗篷不就跟披肩差不多啊
A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.
蝙蝠侠不受指责 因为他是个大侠
Batman doesn't get picked on because he's a muscular genius.
曼尼连上铺都爬不上去
Manny can't make it to the top bunk.
我们要去学校把斗篷给曼尼
We're taking this poncho to Manny at school.
必须让他知道 我们是站在他这边的
It's important that he knows we support him.
之后我们去做按摩 这主意还不赖
And then we go get those massages, because that sounds good.
我一直两步一级地上楼
I always take the stairs two at a time.
想都不用想的
I don't even think about it anymore.
普通人爬楼梯简直弱爆了
The regular way would seem weird.
菲尔 省省吧 我就是比你快
Phil, let it go. I'm faster than you.
有什么办法能一次性解决这个争论就好了
If only there was some way we could settle this once and for all.
可该用什么办法呢
But how?
你真想跟我比吗
You seriously wanna race me?
我去年可跑了半个马拉松的距离
I ran a half-marathon last year.
我也吓破了半个胆
Wow. I'm half-scared.
好吧 确实得比一比 我去换衣服
Okay, we do need to do this. I'll go change.
现在不行 我得开个电话会议 会后如何
Not now. I got a conference call. But how about after that?
- 很好 就今下午 -太棒了
- Great. This afternoon. - Sweet.
两阶一步 两阶一步
Two at a time, two at a ti-
我去 这楼梯得修了
Son of a- Gotta fix that step!
两阶一步 顺利登顶
Two at a time! Already at the top, so-
我是缪拉医生 今天由我值班
Hi, I'm Dr. Miura. I'm on call today.
看起来我们是撞到了头
Looks like we have a little head bump.
对 大概几小时前 撞到在门框上了
Yeah, it happened a couple hours ago on a- on a doorjamb.
我们以前在学校参加过一种课程
We used to do this thing in school...
给你一个鸡蛋 你不能把它弄破了
where they would give you an egg and you couldn't break it.
这是为了让你体验到为人父母的艰难
And it was supposed to teach you how hard it was to be a parent.
但实际上
But the real thing,
为人父母比那个难多了
I-it's so much harder. You know?
我在学校也做过这个
We did that in my school too.
结果都不太理想
Didn't turn out so well.
我耗费了一打鸡蛋
I went through a dozen eggs.
他一紧张就开始吃
Yeah, well, he's a nervous eater.
不 鸡蛋是被我弄破了
No, I broke a dozen eggs.
很抱歉 我只是以为
I'm sorry. I just assumed that-
我懂
I know.
我懂你怎么想的
I know what you assumed.
看上去没留什么印迹
There doesn't seem to be any mark.
- 她头上其实戴了护具 -护具
- Well, her head was somewhat protected. - Protected?
- 她戴了一个帽子吗 -对 差不多
- Was she wearing a-a hat? - Yes, yes, like a hat.
是假发 时下流行的非洲爆炸头
It was a wig, actually. Sort of a ghetto-fabulous Afro thing.
我觉得这有助于诊断
I thought it might be medically relevant.
是吗
Really?
你觉得"时下流行"跟诊断有关吗
You thought "Ghetto-fabulous" Might be medically relevant?
- 我还是继续检查好了 -好的 谢谢
- Maybe I should just finish with the exam. - Yes, thanks.
我想你会很高兴知道我们打算
You'll be pleased to know that Mitchell and I intend on
让莉莉从小接触到亚洲文化的氛围
raising Lily with influences from her Asian heritage.
很好啊
That is fantastic.
撞到头之后有没有呕吐现象呢
Have you noticed any vomiting since the head bump?
不 不 没有
Uh, no. No, no, no.
我们在她房里挂了些东方艺术品
We've hung some art in her room. Some Asian art.
当她可以吃固体食物时
And then when she's ready for solid food,
我们家的拐角处
there's a fantastic pho place...
就有一个超棒的越南米粉店
right around the corner from our house.
我发音对吗 是米粉吗
Am I pronouncing that right? Is it pho?
一种汤面
It's a soup.
我不知道 我是丹佛人
I don't know. I'm from Denver.
我们那儿没有什么 米粉
We don't have a lot of pho there.
再确认一下
Uh, just to be sure,
能给我演示一下莉莉撞得有多厉害吗
could you show me how hard Lily got hit?
就用你的头
And use your head.
差不多 就像这样
Um, yeah. Really, it was- it was just sorta, like, uh-
- 懂了吗 -能再来一次吗
- You know? - Could I see that again?
就是 就是撞了一下头 你知道的
Um, it was just- just a head bump, you know.
- 那你什么感觉 -还好吧
- How are you feeling? - Uh, fine.
莉莉也这么觉得
So is Lily.
宝宝天生自会应对新手家长
Babies are designed to survive new parents,
所以别担心了
so stop worrying.
你们做得很好了
You guys are doing great.
谢谢
Thank you.
我是丹佛人
Denver.
我没看到哪儿有斗篷
I don't see any ponchos,
说明孩子们要么不会穿斗篷
which means either the kids don't wear them
要么穿斗篷的孩子们都被撵走了
or the ones who do wear them disappear.
我们是对的啦
We're doing the right thing.
我无条件支持曼尼
I support Manny no matter what.
孩子们需要你的信任
Children need to know that you believe in them.
那非常非常重要
It's the most important thing.
如果你告诉他们 他们有翅膀
If you tell them they have wings,
他们就会相信自己能飞上蓝天
they will believe they can fly.
噢 是吗
Oh, really?
我认识个老兄 去了伍德斯托克音乐节
I had a buddy, went to Woodstock,
坚信自己能飞起来 最后没啥好下场
believed he could fly. Didn't end great.
正因此 酒店的窗户都不敢开了
It's why hotel windows don't open anymore.
发生什么事了吗 谁死了
Is something wrong? Who's died?
没人死 曼尼
No one, Manny.
你怎么这么想呢
Why would you even think that?
在哥伦比亚的时候
In Colombia,
曼尼念巴勃罗埃斯科瓦尔小学
Manny went to Pablo Escobar Elementary School.
如果你从课堂上被叫出来
If you were pulled out of class,
肯定是叫你认尸的
it was definitely to identify a body.
好吧 我们把你的斗篷带来了
Well, we got your poncho here.
你不是说我穿着它就像
I thought you said it made me look like
我脖子穿了条裙子吗
my neck was wearing a dress.
我只是开玩笑的
That was a joke.
噢 太好了 还在包里
Oh, good! It's still in the pocket!
- 什么还在包里 小家伙 -排箫
- What do you got there, buddy? - My pan flute.
我要给新同学演奏哥伦比亚民俗音乐
I'm going to play some colombian folk music for my new classmates.
不错嘛
Huh. Great.
我真为你骄傲了
I have never been more proud of you.
你的朋友们一定会喜欢的
I'm sure your friends are gonna love it.
- 把排箫毁掉 -什么
- Break the flute. - What?
斗篷本身没什么
The poncho by itself is fine.
斗篷 加排箫
The poncho, plus the flute,
再加上蠢头蠢脑的舞蹈
plus the stupid dance-
我儿子绝对出师未捷身先死
my son will die a virgin.
一语中的
That's right.
嘿 给我看看那排箫吧
Hey, sport, can I take a look at that whistle?
噢 天 弄掉了
Oh, geez. Look at that.
- 而你居然还踩上去了 -什么
- And now you stepped on it! - What?
我这是怎么了啊
What's wrong with me?
- 来 我来开门吧 -谢谢
- Here, let me get it. - Thank you.
- 也许真的该你来开门 -为什么
- You know, actually, maybe you should do this. - Why?
我不想又把她头撞到门上了
I don't want to bump her head against the door,
或者说 绑安全带的时候夹到她
you know, pinch her with the seat belt.
米奇尔 你还要用这个失误
Mitchell, how long are you gonna beat
折磨自己多久
yourself up over one mistake?
又要像上次"挑染金发"事件一样吗
Is this going to be like the blond highlights all over again?
我只是觉得我这个父亲当得很失败
I just- I think I suck at being a father.
你在说什么呢 我们还是新手爸爸
What are you talking about? We're new at this.
对 可你简直是天生的好父亲 你看你
Yeah, but you're such a natural. I mean, look at you.
你一进屋她就来精神了
You walk into the room and she lights up.
你一只手就能给她换尿片 而我
Y-You change her diaper with one hand. I-
好吧 我其实是在嫉妒你
Nice. I-I'm actually jealous of you.
也有好多事儿你行我不行呢
There are so many things that you do that I can't.
你把整个屋子都做好了幼儿防护
Y-You baby-proofed the entire house.
你把所有的领养文件都处理得有条不紊
You took care of all the adoption paperwork.
要没你 我们都没有宝宝可撞
Without you, we wouldn't even have a baby to injure.
只是一些表格而已
Just a couple of forms.
好吧 确实是一大堆表格
Actually, that was a lot of paperwork.
你还挤进了所有幼儿园的候选名单
And you got her on all those preschool waiting lists.
不然呢 难道要等到她年龄"足够大"
Can't believe you were gonna wait until she was "old enough."
看到没 所以我们才是超棒的一队啊
You see, that's what makes us a great team.
我们各有所长
We each have our own strengths.
- 快说 谁是超棒奶爸 -我们
- Now, who are amazing parents? - We are.
- 我听不见 -我们
- I can't hear you. - We are!
- 可别忘了 -好啦
- Don't you forget it. - Okay.
我们是不是把宝宝锁在车里了
Did we just lock our baby in the car?
你把钥匙放在包里了吗
Did you put the keys in the bag?
我把钥匙放在包里了
I put the keys in the bag.
米奇尔
Oh, Mitchell,
我说过不要把钥匙放在包里的嘛
I told you not to put the keys in the bag!
拜托 别抓狂
Come on! Don't freak out!
莉莉 没事的
Lily, it's okay!
*A-B-C-D-E-F-*
*A-B-C-D-E-F-*
有没有搞错 你还跟她唱歌
What, are you singing to her?
人们会为此被逮捕的
People get arrested for this, Mitchell.
*H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P*
*H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P*
- 四个门都锁上了吗 -带手机了吗
- Do all four doors lock? - Do you have a phone?
什么
What?
我什么都没说
I didn't say anything.
我听不到你讲话 我在享受混搭专辑
Couldn't hear ya. I'm cranking one of my mash-ups.
他们回来了
There they are.
重回监狱第一天感觉如何
How was the first day back in prison?
- 还不错 -嗯
- Fine. - Yep
你们俩在搞什么啊
What are you guys doing?
*和我要赛跑呢
Your mom and I are racing
从这到红杉树那儿的信箱往返一圈
to the mailbox on Sequoia and back.
- 为什么 -我也不懂
- Why? - I don't know.
她当然懂的
Oh, she knows.
老弟 等我大获全胜之后
Hey, buddy. Soon as I'm done kicking a little Mom butt here,
我陪你练练马里奥赛车如何
how about I school you in some Mario Kart?
不行 还得赶日记呢
Can't. Gotta work on my journal.
真没劲
Lame!
艾丽克斯 你呢
Hey, uh, Alex. You?
我要做历史卷子
Uh, I have a history paper.
好吧 如果你想小小见证一下历史诞生
Well, if you wanna see a little history being made right here-
- 没兴趣 -好吧
- Not really. - Okay.
- 准备好了吗 -你呢
- Ready? - Are you?
我生来就准备好了
I was born ready.
- 我打娘胎就长着小金翅膀 -开始
- I came outta the womb wearing tiny little golden wings- - go!
我来打碎玻璃
I'm breaking the window!
紧急援助中心 我叫崔娜
Emergency assistance. This is Trina.
帮帮忙 我们把宝宝锁在车里了
Help! We I- We locked our baby in the car
人们正对着我们唧唧歪歪呢
and people are judging us!
我对天发誓 一定要砸碎它
I swear to God, I'm gonna break it!
别把玻璃砸碎 玻璃会扎到她的
Do not break the window! You'll get glass on her!
先生 请让你夫人冷静
Sir, please tell your wife to relax.
- 一切都会好的 -他是个男的
- Everything is going to be okay. - That's a man.
真的吗
Really?
别怕 莉莉 爹地来救你了
Don't worry, Lily! Daddy's coming for you!
先生 我们刚发送了信号
Sir, we just sent the signal.
- 车门应该已经解锁了 -试试车门
- The door should be unlocked now. - Check- Check the door.
- 试试车门 试试车门 -没有开啊
- Check the door. Check the door. - It's not unlocked!
好了
Okay.
真不可思议 他们怎么做到的
That is amazing. How did they do that?
不知道 我们搞定了
I don't know. It's just- We got it.
- 谢谢 -难不成是天外来客
- Thank you. - Did that come from space?
我每天跑5英里
I run five miles a day.
我的静止心率每分钟48次
I have a resting heart rate of 48.
就2英里的赛跑 我没可能会输给
There is no way I'm going to lose
这个天天撑着约翰尼滑雪杆竞走的家伙
a two-mile race to Johnny Ski Pole.
我这是节省体力 准备来个一举攻坚
Saving my energy, drafting off of you.
你现在特骄傲是吧
You feeling cocky?
对啊 我就是
Yeah, I am.
正中下怀
Love it.
但当我看到那件T恤后 我突然明白了
But after seeing that T-shirt, I realized something.
开学第一天对我的孩子们来说都不好过
The first day of school is tough on all my kids,
尤其是我嫁的这个男人
especially the one I married.
世上最棒的爸爸
内燃机启动啦
Afterburners engaged!
别被尾烟呛到哦
Whoo! Don't choke on my smoke!
我要完成冲刺了
And down the stretch he goes.
难以置信啊
I don't believe it!
老爸赢了 相信奇迹吗
Daddy wins! Do you believe in miracles?
美利坚万岁 美利
U.S.A., u.S. -
- 噢 不 -噢 上帝啊
- Oh, no! - Oh, Jesus!
天呐 刚刚那是什么
Oh, my- What was that?
- 是个人吗 -我没事
- Was that a person? - I'm good!
- 爸爸 -我没事
- Dad? - I'm good.
- 亲爱的 你还好吗 -我没事
- Honey, are you okay? - I'm good. Whoo!
你有进步哦 宝贝
You're getting better, sweetheart.
我是故意输掉让他开心点的吗
Did I lose the race to make him feel better?
也许吧
Maybe.
但在今天 他需要这一场胜利
But it just seemed like he could use a win today.
我们常常为了深爱的人做些稀奇古怪的事
We do strange things for the people we love.
我们对他们撒谎 我们为他们撒谎
We lie to them, we lie for them.
或许生活中难免坎坷颠簸
There may be some bumps along the way,
但我们总希望他们过得尽善尽美
but we never stop wanting the best for them.
就像是肩负着最沉重的负担
That's what makes it such a tough job.
但却是世上最甜蜜的负担
Kind of the best job in the world.
- 你在干嘛 -好好看路
- What are you doing? - Turn your eyes on the road!
- 天呐 -天呐
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
- 好吧 -好吧
- Okay. - Okay.
没事 宝贝 这很正常
All right, sweetie, this happens.
保持冷静 这是首要的
Remain calm. That's the first thing.
就停在这儿吧 我来拿证件
Pull over right here. I'll get out the registration.
妈妈 我不喜欢警察
Mom, I don't like cops.
没事儿 停下来
Ok, pull over right there.
我不喜欢警察
I don't like cops.
没事儿 这儿有个空位
All right, there's a space right here...
- 我不停下来 就不 -你必须停下
- I can't pull over. No, I can't. - You need to pull over!
- 你可以不停 我赞成 -菲尔
- No can do. No can do! - Phil!
- 我有先例 -我在加速了
- I got priors. - I'm speeding up.
菲尔 你
Phil, you-
刚刚那商场要收停车费
Parking ticket from the mall.
我从不交停车费的
I never paid the parking ticket.
继续开 宝贝
Keep moving, sweetheart.
老爸支持我 我可以加速了
Dad's with me, I can speed up and-
你以为拍电影啊海莉 停车
It's not a movie, Hayley, and pull over!
