餐桌上的食物大战，是孩子为实现自我掌控而做的努力（食物大战3D）

食物大战

父母和孩子在食物上的争端

来源于父母没有给予孩子足够的尊重与信任

本篇文章是童心童语的Karen老师撰写的

旨在为父母们提供一些中肯的建议

帮助孩子更好的进餐与发展

FOOD

01 让孩子自己决定是不是吃饱了

One topic that concerns parents the most is the daily fight to get their kids to eat. We are constantly battling with our kids about how much they eat, what they eat, and when they eat, and this can be exhausting. Yet it is usually us that cause the problem. Babies are born with a natural survival instinct, including their ability to suck so that they can drink milk. We follow their nutritional demands and feed them when they are hungry; we let them drink milk until they are satisfied, and they grow and develop well.

父母们最关心的一个话题就是每天让孩子们吃饭。我们总是纠结于他们吃了多少，吃了什么，什么时候吃，这让父母们筋疲力尽。要知道，这些问题通常都是家长造成的。婴儿天生具有自然的生存本能，包括吮吸能力，这样他们就可以吃到母乳。我们跟随他们的营养需求，在他们饥饿的时候给他们喂奶；他们吃母乳直到感到满足，感到自己吃饱了就会停止吸吮，吃饱是身体发育良好的基础。

As they grow and develop, they start putting things in their mouth, they get teeth, and we introduce them to solids. We measure and monitor everything that goes into their mouths; we are not satisfied that they've had enough, and we start rewarding and punishing children according to their eating. And we decide now it's time to take over and control their eating.

随着生长和发育，他们开始尝试把食物放入嘴里，等他们长出牙齿，我们就会给他们提供固体食物。通过观察他们进餐的需求和情况，我们似乎不再满足于他们吃饱了这个层次，而是开始对他们的一次三餐横加指点和干涉，试图掌管和控制他们的饮食，甚至有时候就吃饭这个问题还要制定奖励和惩罚的规定。

So let's explore this issue a little further. Why should children be rewarded for doing what comes naturally, for doing what they need to do to stay alive? Do we trust the young infant to know when he's had enough more than we do our older children? All we are doing is teaching children not to listen to the rhythms of their bodies.

我们一起来思考一下，为什么孩子们会因为做了自然而然的事，做了为了生存而必须做的事而受到奖励呢？我们真的确信和吃饭的幼儿相比，吸吮母乳的婴儿更加知道自己已经吃饱了吗？幼儿难道不知道什么叫做吃饱了吗？我们所做的一切其实都是在教育孩子们不要去听从他们身体释放的信号。这听起来是不是很荒谬。

Recommendation: Respect your child when he says he's eaten enough.

建议:当孩子说他已经吃饱了的时候，要尊重他的判断。

02、让孩子自己选择他喜欢的食物

What's Normal？

什么是正常的行为？

It is normal for young children as they move from liquids to mushy foods to solids to go through picky eating phases; they become accustomed to new tastes and textures. At the age of two, as children's physical growth starts to slow down, they don't need quite so many calories as before, and they start losing their baby fat.

对于小孩子来说，经历了液体食物到糊状食物再到固体食物，有挑食的问题是很正常的；他们习惯新的口味和口感会有一个过程。在两岁的时候，随着孩子的身体发育开始放缓，他们不再需要像以前那么多的卡路里，他们不再有婴儿肥。

We become sure that they must be hungry and start running after them offering them snacks like yogurt, fruit, cookies, and milk every half hour to make up for the food we feel they didn't eat enough of. Why would they eat that healthy, nutritious meal you worked so hard to prepare when they know they can get a delicious snack in a few minutes?

我们觉得他们饿了的时候，就会追着他们投喂，比如，每半小时给他们提供酸奶、水果、饼干和牛奶等零食，因为按照我们的逻辑，会觉得他们消耗了能量，应该饿了。但是孩子们会怎么想呢？他们会想我吃到这么多美味的零食，为什么还要吃父母辛辛苦苦准备的健康营养的餐食呢？因为我的小肚肚已经饱了。

When this happened to me, I spoke to a colleague, and she recommended I make notes of how much he eats during a week. I wrote down everything he ate from the moment he woke up to when he went to sleep. I kept our routine but followed his hunger cycles and let him choose not to eat anything if he wasn't hungry. I found after that week that my son was eating more than enough sometimes, he didn't eat much, but he usually made up for it. Just like me, he went through phases when his appetite just wasn't that big. He had clear favorites, but in general, over the course of 3 days, I noticed he would get in all the nutrition he needed to stay healthy and grow strong.

说来惭愧，我也曾干过这种事情，当我和一位同事谈起这件事情的时候，她建议我记录下孩子一周吃了多少东西。我把孩子从醒来到睡觉吃的东西都写了下来，然后建立日常生活规律，遵循他的饥饿周期，尊重他的选择，如果不饿就可以不吃任何东西。那个星期之后，我发现我儿子有时吃得过多，有时他吃得很少，但他通常会补上，不会饿着自己。他会经历食欲不那么旺盛的阶段，他会有明显的食物偏好。但总的来说，在3天的时间里，我观察到他会自己获取到所有他需要的营养，保持健康和强壮。

Recommendation:

If your child had a big snack an hour before dinner, he might not be hungry enough to eat. So, plan out snack times to set parts of the day and won't interfere with mealtimes.Often children don't like the feel of the food in their mouth. It's as simple as a sensory issue; in my toddler classes over the years, I've noticed that almost all my students would never eat the egg yolk. –It's my favorite part! However, they love to eat steamed eggs (a regular thing here in China) – Something I won't touch! My children will only eat grated or melted cheese. I love cheese in all forms!

建议:

如果您的孩子在晚饭前一小时吃了很多零食，他可能不会饿到还可以吃东西的程度。所以，要计划好零食的时间，安排在一天中的特定时段，确保不会影响到正常用餐。孩子们通常不喜欢有些食物在嘴里的感觉，比如，在我学步儿的班级里，我注意到几乎所有的孩子都不会吃蛋黄。但是，他们喜欢吃鸡蛋羹。这个喜好正好和我相反!再比如，我的孩子只吃磨碎或融化的奶酪，而我却喜欢各种形式的奶酪!

Recommendation: Practice with different textures of foods to see what your child likes and doesn't like.

建议:尝试不同质地的食物，看看你的孩子喜欢什么，不喜欢什么。

03、平息食物大战的实用建议

There is one constant in any food battle I've found, and it is the fight for control. Indeed here, the old saying 'it takes two to tango' rings true! Children want independence; they want to feel that they have some say over themselves and their bodies. The one place where they know they can beat you is at the dinner table. If you don't fight back, there is no battle, and your child will soon get tired of fighting with no one. So if you've found yourself in a battle over food, here are a few suggestions.

在我所发现的任何一场食物大战中，都有一个不变的规律，那就是对控制权的争夺。孩子想要独立，他们想要夺回对自己和对自己身体的控制权与发言权。他们很清楚唯一能打败你的地方就是餐桌上。俗话说“一个巴掌拍不响”，如果此时你不反击，就没有战斗，你的孩子也会很快厌倦没有对手的斗争。所以，如果你发现自己陷入了一场食物大战，这里有一些建议希望对你有帮助：

1. Choices: Before starting the meal, give your child a choice. You can let them choose one of the dishes, such as a choice between broccoli and carrots. Always offer a selection between things that you are willing to prepare.

选择：在开始用餐之前，给你的孩子一个选择。你可以让他们选一道菜，比如在西兰花和胡萝卜之间做选择。总之是在你能够准备的东西之间提供选择。

2. Involvement: When children have helped to prepare a meal, they will at least be curious to taste what they have made. You can start with easy tasks, like whisking the eggs, stirring the pot, or adding the ingredients. Slowly they can help with more and more of the meal, who knows, you might soon not have to cook at all!

参与：当孩子们帮忙一起准备一顿饭时，他们至少会好奇他们做的食物是什么味道。从简单的事情开始，比如打鸡蛋，搅拌锅，或者添加配料。慢慢地，他们可以帮助做越来越多的饭菜，乐观的想象一下，你可能很快就不用亲自做饭了!

3. Prepare Only One Meal: Make a single meal for the whole family, not one thing for everyone else, and then a separate meal for your child. It's O.K. to make sure there is something on the table that you know your child will enjoy, but it should be available to all to share, not only to them. It's a great way to introduce your child to communal eating without the pressure to eat something they don't like.

只准备一顿饭：为整个家庭做一顿饭，照顾到所有人的喜好，而不是单为某个人做一顿饭，但要确保有宝宝餐。你准备的饭菜有一些你知道孩子会喜欢的东西是可以的，但这些东西应该是所有人都可以分享的。这是让你的孩子接触集体用餐的好方法，孩子会在没有压力的情况下吃一些他们不喜欢的东西。

4. Trust: You can't control if your child eats or not, so don't even try. Trust your child to make the right choices for himself and his body. The more you fight, the more your child will fight back. If they don't eat lunch, they'll probably be hungrier at the next meal and make up for it. If you get worried, prepare something for the next meal you know they love (In our case, its noodles)

信任：你无法控制你的孩子吃或不吃，所以不要试着去控制。相信你的孩子会为他自己和他的身体做出正确的选择。你越控制，你的孩子就越会抗争。如果他们不吃午饭，他们可能会在晚餐时多吃。如果你担心营养不够，那就在下一餐准备一些你知道他们会喜欢的食物。

5. Independence: Many parents work very hard during meal times. They are feeding children, wiping their mouths, picking up food from the table or floor, rushing children to eat faster, eat slower, and telling them what to eat. I get tired of just watching these parents at work! Any Child who has no serious developmental issues can feed themselves. Their body tells them how much to eat, and they have the skills to get the food into their mouths. When we don't let them do this, they resent us.

独立：许多父母在进餐的时候会很辛苦。他们给孩子喂奶、擦嘴，从桌子或地板上捡食物，催促孩子快吃、慢吃，并告诉他们该吃什么。此类的父母我见到太多了！任何没有严重发育问题的孩子都可以自己吃饭。他们的身体会告诉他们应该吃多少，他们有能力把食物送到嘴里。如果我们不让他们这么做，他们可能会对我们心生怨怼。

In my 23 years of experience working with children between the ages of 18 months to 6 years, all my students have fed themselves, served their food, and in general, eaten more at school than they do at home. Why is this?… I trust them. Even if they choose only rice for lunch today, I trust they will make up for it by eating extra meat the next day. We give them time to eat, savor and enjoy mealtimes; I don't touch their food or plates, it's their domain, and I trust them to run it. The children repay my trust in them and show me they deserve it!

在我与18个月到6岁的孩子打交道的23年经验中，我班级所有的孩子都是自己盛菜、自己吃饭。总通常他们在园所吃的比在家里吃的多。这是为什么呢?因为相信。即使他们今天中午只吃米饭，我相信他们会在第二天吃更多的肉来弥补。给他们吃饭的时间，并享受吃饭的时间；我不碰他们的食物和盘子，这是他们的地盘，我相信他们会管理。孩子们回报了我对他们的信任，让我知道我做对了，这就是他们的进餐之道。

Karen